The truth is, if you are too focused on the lives of others and the things that they are doing you will never have enough time to achieve your ambitions and dreams. Period.
How many times have you scrolled through facebook, instagram, snapchat; only to find that you feel as if you don’t measure up? That somehow others are having beautiful experiences and are connecting socially with friends – and you constantly compare your life to theirs. Why is this? You ask. Am I not as good as others? Is there something I am missing in life? Why can’t I have what they have? These are all good questions.
There are two things to consider; first and foremost, social media should not be your means of validating who you or who somebody else is. Secondly, if you had invested enough energy and effort into the things that you truly desired – you would be in a better position to crush these feelings that you don’t measure up. And it’s okay if you’ve done or continue to do one or both of these things currently – there are lessons learned that will serve you down the track. But, they must stop here, and this is how I believe you should take control of this situation.
THE 10-1 RULE
The 10-1 Rule says that for every fact you know about somebody else’s life there should be 10 things that you readily know about your own life. These can be simple things such as your daily schedule, your goals and your plans for the current day (see the example below).
If you can be concrete in the knowledge you have of yourself, then I guarantee you will have a better understanding of who you are and what direction you are taking in life. You will be more focused on yourself, more motivated to achieve what matters most to you, and less occupied by feelings that you don’t measure up to others around you. You will see your feelings of worthlessness shift to feelings of gratitude for those people who you have in your life (the ones constantly coming through your social media feeds).
If you can be concrete in the knowledge you have of yourself, then I guarantee you will have a better understanding of who you are and what direction you are taking in life.
Do not get this rule confused with selfishness – it does not mean to neglect others and their needs, it merely means understanding that the only life you will ever experience and live will be viewed through your own eyes – through the perspective of your point of view. Therefore, we must have more knowledge about the things we can control (ourselves) over knowledge of the things we can’t (others). It will inspire a vision for our lives.
The only life you will ever experience and live will be viewed through your own eyes.
If we take notice of the list above we can see that all 10 items in the right-hand column are tied to larger core values that are the driving force behind them. If you haven’t taken the chance to sit down and consider your values, I would highly recommend it. It would be the difference between having a list of 10 things that are pleasing and a list of 10 things that are empowering and motivating. Your 10-1 List should be constantly changing and evolving – that is a clear sign of growth.
~ A.M, 2018