self help

Making Big Decisions – Listening To Our Feelings

We all ponder different decisions at different stages of life. We tend to spend more time thinking about the ones that mean more to us – the ones that have more riding on them.

It’s easy to sometimes overanalyse a situation and make it into something more intimidating than it actually is. Mark Manson makes this clear when he speaks about ‘The Feedback Loop from Hell”. “You find yourself anxious about a certain situation, the anxiety cripples you and you start wondering why you’re so anxious. Now you’re becoming anxious about being anxious.” You start to scold yourself for having these feelings, then you start to take pity on yourself, as if you’re not allowed to experience these emotions (anxiety).

The truth is, situations are going to bring out certain feelings and emotions in us, and that’s totally okay – it’s normal. The realisation that we have a right to these feelings, and that these feelings are real should give us the courage to accept them. To realise that life sometimes sucks, but that’s okay too. There’s things in our life that we can’t control, but we can always choose how we respond to them. It’s in this response that we accept the ‘suckiness’ of some situations and choose to take the high road – choose to take a road where we think long-term about our growth and progress, rather than getting caught up in a problem that will be so minuscule in the grand scheme of your life when you look back.

The important thing underlying this message is mainly that when we get caught in this feedback loop we tend to feel a bit helpless and we can latch on to people for help, which is totally okay. However, what we need to be aware of is that making big decisions through this time is probably not a good idea. Our decisions are likely to be influenced too heavily by those around us and we won’t really find as much sense in our decision-making when we look back.

There’s nothing wrong with getting advice from others, in fact it’s essential that we do. However, we must ensure that we gain emotional equilibrium before we digest the advice and add our own opinions to it. If someone’s telling you to do something and it just doesn’t feel right, chances are it’s probably not completely aligned with what you truly want.

So, take the time to listen to advice, digest it and think about it once you reach a point of emotional equilibrium, it’s at this point where your feelings will tell you if the action or decision you are about to make will help you to grow as a person or if you’re incorrectly attaching an ulterior motive – your feelings will tell you – trust them.

Always,

~ The Mind Connectory, 2020

If someone’s telling you to do something and it just doesn’t feel right, chances are it’s probably not completely aligned with what you truly want. @themindconnectory

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