Being a ‘yes man’ so to speak is a difficult character to uphold. At different times in our life we might find ourselves making a lot of sacrifices for others, but we need to be careful that we don’t jeopardise our own health – mentally and physically.
So how we can still help others, but at the same time give ourselves the freedom we deserve to have our own quality of life? For some people helping others is what provides them with fulfilment. When they can see that another person is improving and that they’ve played a major part in that person’s growth, it empowers them. That’s well and good, it’s a great character trait to have.
Whilst this brings fulfilment, sometimes you might face crisis moments when you’re alone – you might get down when you see the work you’re doing for others seems to not be appreciated (even though it might be) and sometimes I you can resent the fact of giving too much to others without considering your own needs. We all have a limit of service to others at some point, and we have to work to find it.
This is the question that you need to ask yourself as often as possible – but particularly if a crisis hits. ‘If I was to do this task for another person and never receive any gratitude or credit, would I still want to do it?’ The point being here is that we have so many opportunities to help others and some give us more realistic fulfilment long-term whereas others we might do just as a way of getting some form of credit for them. We need to try and avoid the latter – or at least limit it.
We have to be doing something for others because we genuinely want to help them and not for want or desire of any award or recognition. True service is done with a humble spirit – credit is not expected – we merely do the task because it means something to us personally and we envision a sense of purpose in what we do.
True service is done with a humble spirit – credit is not expected
So next time you feel like you’re becoming a ‘yes man’ prioritise tasks that you would do regardless of the awards, and if you still seem to be getting distracted or put down by the lack of recognition you might be receiving, revaluate the tasks you are doing for others and see if they give you a genuine sense of purpose.
There’s nothing wrong with letting these tasks go because they do not align with you. Instead, pass them on to someone who would love to do them and would gain the same fulfilment that you would receive from the tasks that you love to do.
We all have different desires and seek purpose in different things. It’s a form of self love to know what drives us and be willing to let go of tasks we struggle to see a vision in. This does not mean we will never see a vision in those tasks we have let go. It just means that at this point in time with the knowledge we currently have we are not ready to take those tasks on.
As time passes and you continue to learn and grow, countless shifts in perspective will allow you to see purpose in tasks you didn’t before. So for now, focus on what drives you and let go of what doesn’t.
Protect your quality of life and exercise some self love.
~ Adam, 2019
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