You will be judged and people will make assumptions about you, whether they are fair or not. That’s a fact of life and you need to grow to accept that fact. You need to learn not to take the things that others say personally because nobody truly knows you more than yourself.
When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and you are criticised by others for your actions you need to stop and think. Did I act based on my values? If so, I will ignore the knock downs from others. We need to ask, did I act in a way that conflicted with my values? That means I need to change and the feedback I have received was actually constructive.
Identifying whether the feedback you receive is justified is a skill you must learn. You need to have the ability to continue on your course of action if you believe that you are acting based on your values, but you also need to be aware that you are human and sometimes you act outside your values and the feedback you receive from others is something you should seriously consider if you want to improve.
It’s important not to get too hung up on those that judge you irrationally based on knowledge they do not have. People often do this because they lack the experience, or are too lazy to put the effort in themselves.
You have the ability to instil confidence in yourself by being courageous in acting out your values. Doing the right thing based on your values and not seeking to please others is a sure way to fulfilment. It makes you feel more control over your actions, decisions and direction. Trust your instincts, and be ready to correct them sometimes, but don’t dwell on non-constructive feedback because it will limit you and distract you, needlessly.
Another important point I want to address is the fear of what others think of us. Sometimes we imagine that others feel a certain way about us because we truly don’t know what they are thinking – and we immediately expect the worse case scenario. We need to change that thinking because what if it was the best case scenario and they actually thought really highly of us? We need to communicate with people and always believe that they have something to offer us. If we live in fear that they don’t like us or our actions without knowing we are only harming ourselves.
Don’t be afraid of what others think – trust your values and be courageous to change when necessary.
~ Adam, 2019