self help

Don’t Be Afraid Of What Others Think

You will be judged and people will make assumptions about you, whether they are fair or not. That’s a fact of life and you need to grow to accept that fact. You need to learn not to take the things that others say personally because nobody truly knows you more than yourself.

When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and you are criticised by others for your actions you need to stop and think. Did I act based on my values? If so, I will ignore the knock downs from others. We need to ask, did I act in a way that conflicted with my values? That means I need to change and the feedback I have received was actually constructive.

Identifying whether the feedback you receive is justified is a skill you must learn. You need to have the ability to continue on your course of action if you believe that you are acting based on your values, but you also need to be aware that you are human and sometimes you act outside your values and the feedback you receive from others is something you should seriously consider if you want to improve.

It’s important not to get too hung up on those that judge you irrationally based on knowledge they do not have. People often do this because they lack the experience, or are too lazy to put the effort in themselves.

You have the ability to instil confidence in yourself by being courageous in acting out your values. Doing the right thing based on your values and not seeking to please others is a sure way to fulfilment. It makes you feel more control over your actions, decisions and direction. Trust your instincts, and be ready to correct them sometimes, but don’t dwell on non-constructive feedback because it will limit you and distract you, needlessly.

Another important point I want to address is the fear of what others think of us. Sometimes we imagine that others feel a certain way about us because we truly don’t know what they are thinking – and we immediately expect the worse case scenario. We need to change that thinking because what if it was the best case scenario and they actually thought really highly of us? We need to communicate with people and always believe that they have something to offer us. If we live in fear that they don’t like us or our actions without knowing we are only harming ourselves.

Don’t be afraid of what others think – trust your values and be courageous to change when necessary.

Always,

~ Adam, 2019

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18 comments

  1. I spent most of my life being a people pleaser and living in fear that people would reject the ‘real me’ if I showed her to the world. As I have grown older, I have worked hard to let go of my fear of what people will think. Writing has been a HUGE part of that for me. When I write, my authentic self just screams to be heard. In the process, I have discovered that I LIKE this version of me. And strangely, no one has shown me the door. On the contrary, my relationships with others are richer than ever before. Great post, Adam 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Patti! Thank you so much for sharing your insight and a glimpse into your story. It’s special to me when others resonate with my work. I agree, releasing our real self into the world is a hard thing to do and I continue to let more and more of myself out each day. The beautiful thing is, the more of me I let out, the more I wonder why I waited so long because it’s such an enriching feeling.

      My writing has been a special part of my growth too and will continue to be. Thanks again for sharing!

      I find nothing truer for me too when you say, “I write what I feel. And I rarely know exactly what I feel until I write.” I get the same feeling!

      Stay blessed!

      ~ Adam

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for reading Dr. Maples and for your insight. I agree, that’s a great way to put it! I find the things that resonate most with my values most are the ones that give me goosebumps when I think about them, when realise that I’m proud of what I’ve done. Thanks again!

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  2. Always my pleasure Chris. The most remarkable thing is that the discussion is driven by my readers – the more questions they ask, and the more insights they give the better the discussion becomes. I can give more and I can also learn more. I am so grateful!

    Like

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