As we welcome 2021, we reflect on the year that was. One that challenged many mentally more than they have ever been. 2020 brought a shift in reality that was truly unexpected, which required many to change the way they perceived life, and ultimately challenged their worldview.
When a year brings as much challenge and non-conventionality that 2020 has there are some remarkable unveilings that occur. Sums of people reach low crisis points, which consequently spurs them to question their metrics of value and meaning. The way that they once lived no longer matches up with the the current context, and if they continue to live by values that don’t fit with the present context they risk losing most of the fulfilment that life offers.
Sums of people reach low crisis points, which consequently spurs them to question their metrics of value and meaning.
This year’s pandemic has forced people apart socially more than ever. Families have been forced to find new ways of communication and businesses have struggled with the inability to travel. A valuable metric that has been challenged is: What constitutes a good relationship with someone, whether that be friend, family or work colleague? For many it’s the number and consistency of face-to-face interactions that occur, and for others it’s affection shown physically through a hug or handshake.
But, what happens when the means to make this necessary no longer exist, such as in this pandemic climate? Are we just expected to allow the fulfilment we would normally receive from upholding these values go? The short answer is yes, but it’s a little bit more complicated – and it has something to do with our own thinking – luckily for us we have control over our values.
An opportunity comes in such situations, and I imagine you’ve felt relationships slowly slipping at times during this year – wondering whether your distance from someone is hindering the relationship, feeling guilty that you cannot see them as you normally would – these feelings are natural and normal. However, you must realise that the situation is not in your control – only your feelings are.
The opportunity comes from analysing your thoughts and determining through careful inspection, which are realistic and which are more fabricated. This process can take some time, but the fruits of this labour are extremely rewarding.
The process can look something like this:
"I seem to be placing large value in physical affection, and the need for consistent face to face interaction because I feel that this constitutes a good relationship. However, upon closer inspection, these values are not critical to a good relationship. Critical values are not in the quantity of interactions, but in the quality of interactions. There are many other ways I can show love and appreciation to my family and friends, such as acts of service, giving gifts, or even a letter of appreciation. Whilst, physical affection is one way, right now I cannot provide it, hence I should release the guilt of this inability since it is not in my control."
With a process like this, focus and can be relived from the things we cannot do, and pinpointed more rapidly on those acts that we can provide (giving gifts or letters of appreciation). If you continue to dwell on not being able to physically see your friends and family, you become stagnant and you miss many opportunities to build the relationship even stronger than it was before.
We know that 2021 will have challenges just as 2020 did, however I trust that with right processes and an opportunistic view their are many possibilities for fulfilment that we can barely imagine, that will exist.
Learn you love language: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
The Mind Connectory – 2021